When Life Throws You Lemons
I woke up this morning and realised what today is – I am not talking about today being the last day of September but about this day being six years since my divorce came through. Now, before you think I am going to be spending the whole of this blog post talking about something that is past and is just that in the past – no, no, no. I will be including other dimensions into this post and focusing this post on God. But, with that said, I am just going to just go back a little bit here.
As I mentioned in my blog post from yesterday, where I stated that I was not in a good place spiritually; mentally; physically or mentally – well, the same applies to my marriage. I also realised that not only was I not following Jesus, but I was not obeying Him either. Looking back onto old social media posts, I cringe with remorse and regret over the decisions I had allowed into this part of my life. We are concentrating on this part of my life for the moment and not the many years of hideous disastrous mistakes prior. So, moving on……
When I married my then husband, I was acting as a “Christian” in some ways, but my life was a different story; my life in some ways was very hypocrital which brings me to a snippet of a conversation with my then mother-in-law. The conversation somehow got onto the subject of Christianity. I was sitting on the floor at her home where we were talking. She made the comment that “all Christians were hypocrites.” I remember tears starting to well up when I replied to her “I suppose you are including me in this”! Her reply was along the lines of “I am not saying another word” and I was practically in tears but, looking back on this brief conversation on this subject last year – I realised that in essence and to a degree she was right. As I mentioned earlier, I was not in the right place to fight back nor had I any right too.
Moving forward, do I regret marrying my then husband? Do I regret walking out on my marriage on that particular day back in August of 2016 and in actual fact walking out on my marriage at all despite how very bad the relationship breakdown was between us. Yes, there have been some regrets however, as I have kept stating, we cannot change the past or keep going back over events because by doing so does not help anyone in any shape or form. There has been a lot of hard lessons learnt from those years along with many tears; pain = (pain as in the literal sense as well as emotional) plus a heck of a lot of growing up that had needed to take place
Fast forward to 2018 which was a somewhat very difficult year but also the year when I truly came to the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Going back to earlier that year, there were so many things that had happened:
- March – One of my brothers died of a cardiac arrest at the age of 61
- End of May – I met my daughter for the first time at the end of May since her adoption
- End of June – I ended up in a Psychiatric Hospital for the last time
- End of September – my divorce came through and on this exact same day – was the beginning of the decline of my Physical Health starting with Trigeminal Neuralgia
- November just before Thanksgiving visiting friends in America
- 30th November giving my life to Jesus whilst visiting the said friends in Kansas
- 23rd December my baptism at my friend’s church in Kansas
The above were some major life events that took place and whilst some of these were not happy events there were three events that were (a) so meaningful and (b) one being the beginning of my new life as a Believer in Jesus Christ.
I am drawing this blog post to a close. I have stated before that God allows us to go through events; He allows us to go through specific seasons of life whether painful or sad; He allows us to go through “the refiners fire” so to speak I will say to teach us to come to Him; to teach us to draw close to Him especially at times where we feel as if we can’t take anymore. He brings us to the end of ourselves in order to draw us unto Him.
I have also said the following statement before which is this. “Nothing happens by chance or coincidence nothing – this is not possible.” Events/situations in life happen for reasons and there are times we have no clue what those reasons may be, however, for the most part they are to help us to completely put our trust in the Only God of Israel so we can turn from our lives of sin and decay and to totally surrender our lives and hearts to Him.
With my giving my life truly over to Jesus – did this mean that life from then on was a bed of roses, oh boy, absolutely not. In fact in my case, life started to become more tough; there was also still that “sin nature” which does not go away just to state this fact. But, there was still so much wrong in life which The Holy Spirit needed to work through; in which changes did start to take place, but these were gradual changes. Nothing for me from the time I handed my life over to Jesus was straight forward. Going back to that “sin nature” as I have again stated in a previous blog post – we all sin and I did go into this in a tiny bit more detail in a blog post prior to this one.
For me, my Walk with Jesus did not start to change a great deal until November 2020. However, from the end of July 2022 was when serious change started to take place and fast forward again to the beginning of this year – there has been a lot more change and growth in my relationship with Jesus. A lot has changed for me in these last almost ten months and things are still changing – how come one may ask? Because (and I keep coming back to this same subject) of my really starting to understand God’s Word and seriously knowing I have needed to be obedient to Jesus in all areas of my life – where I have noticed so many more changes in my own life. This also comes down to making the right choices.
Now, don’t get me wrong here as I still do sin but as I have stated a few times about bringing this up in my last blog – hence there is no need for me to go over this again right now in this blog post.
I did state I was bringing this post to a close didn’t I – well if you dear readers know by now, I can waffle on for absolutely ages and can talk “for England” but I do believe you get the gist of what I am saying here. So, on this note, this is where I am seriously drawing to a close and now it is the end of yet another day for me.
Tomorrow is the start of a brand-new month and boy is the beginning of October starting tomorrow – moving forward going to be an interesting road for everyone around the globe. Without giving too much away, the road ahead is going to be very rocky and unsteady in the remaining three months of this current year being 2024. But for those of us who are Believers in Jesus and understand Bible Prophecy – we know the hurricane that is coming and why. Am I being arrogant – certainly not. But another reason why folk really do need to turn to Jesus before it is too late and as always, I am being totally serious!
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